WELCOME

You Can Negotiate Anything, Anywhere, Anytime

Saturday, May 6, 2017

How to Negotiate With Trump, Rule 3


During the first 100 days of Trump's presidency, we have heard a lot about Trump's negotiation skills. As the author of How to Negotiate like a Pro, 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, I decided to review my own rules in the age of Trump.


Mary's Rule 3: You Don't Have to Be Right to Settle.


Trump's Rule 3. I am Almost Always Right.


What are the three words we want to hear the most, sometimes even more than "I love you."  We want to hear "You are right." For some people this is even harder to say than "I love you." Even better is saying "You are absolutely right." When someone says that it is not the money that counts, it is the "principle," I know the negotiation is in trouble. When someone says it is the "principle," we know that he or she is still invested in their feelings in the dispute. 


We know that Donald Trump thinks he is almost always right even if there are pictures (the inauguration or the women's march) or facts to the contrary (just call it fake news.)  If someone thinks he is always right, facts, logic or arguments probably won't work. However you can use this to your advantage. Instead of trying to persuade the other person (Trump) that you are correct, instead change your tactics. Find something to agree with (no matter how small) or even apologize (more about that in a later post.)  Do something that allows the other side to stay within their "rightness." 


Getting past who is right and who is wrong is the key. Parties who are concerned with who is at fault rather than how to settle usually don't want to compromise. If you want the negotiation to move forward, you may have to be the first one to start the initiative and even accept some of the blame. If the other side is only interested in being right, chances are the situation won't be resolved. 


Script: 

I know you think this is my fault and maybe it is. How can we move forward to a solution. What do you want?


You are absolutely right. I made a big mistake. I want to apologize and hope you can forgive me. How can we proceed?




Mary Greenwood, Negotiator, Mediator, Arbitrator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of ten book awards; How to Mediate Like a Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes, Winner of 11 book awards; and How to Interview Like a Pro, 43 Rules for Getting Your Next Job, Winner of 12 book awards. Email: mgreen464@aol.com, Visit www.marygreenwood.org

Friday, May 5, 2017

How to Negotiate With Trump, Rule 2


During the first 100 days of Trump's presidency, we have heard a lot about Trump's negotiation skills. As the author of How to Negotiate like a Pro, 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, I decided to review my own rules in the age of Trump.



Mary's Rule 2: Look Forward not Back. The Past is Called the Past for a Reason. 


Trump's Rule 2: Look Back not Forward. I like living in my past glory. 


One party may revel in detailing everything that has happened (and I mean everything) so far and insist on documenting each episode or incident even if they took place awhile ago. A wife in a divorce may be so intent on documenting everything the husband has done wrong that the wife is not even thinking about the goals of the negotiation beyond blaming the wife. 


Or a President may blame the past President for everything the  previous President has done in the last eight years. Or the President may dwell on the size of the inauguration crowds, hold rallies during the Correspondents' dinner or focus on the 3 million more votes his opponent received in the general election. However, looking to the past is counterproductive and does not help the negotiations.  


You have to figure out a way to get to the present and deal with the current issues that need to be resolved. Ask the party what they want to resolve the dispute today. If the other side can't let the past go, resolving any negotiation can be a problem. 


Script


1. If we are going to resolve this, we need to look to the future not the past.


2. How exactly do you want to resolve this issue?







Mary Greenwood, Negotiator, Mediator, Arbitrator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of ten book awards; How to Mediate Like a Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes, Winner of 11 book awards; and How to Interview Like a Pro, 43 Rules for Getting Your Next Job, Winner of 12 book awards. Email: mgreen464@aol.com, Visit www.marygreenwood.org




How to Negotiate Like Trump, Rule 1


During the first 100 days of Trump's presidency, we have heard a lot about Trump's negotiation skills. As the Author of How to Negotiate Like a Pro; 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, I decided to review my own rules in the age of Trump.

Mary's Rule 1:  Focus on the Goal. Don't be Distracted by Your Emotions.

Trump's Rule 1:  Focus on Your Emotions. Don't be Distracted by Your Goals


When I wrote How to Negotiate Like a Pro, I said it is important to check your emotions at the door before trying to negotiate because emotions such as anger can make one lose control. We have all seen someone who gets red in the face and starts shaking his finger and generally looks as though he could easily have a heart attack. Sometimes that person is so angry that he is incoherent. Now many years after writing that, I realize that person could be Donald Trump. 


If I am dealing with someone who is very emotional and upset, how do I handle it?


If the other side is baiting me, I remain calm and do not give any indication that the insults or bullying have any affect on me.  I try to keep a poker face. If I do start getting upset, I ask for a break  and try to compose myself and take a few deep breaths before coming back to the negotiating table. I tell myself that it does not matter whether I like the other side or not. My goal is to resolve the problem. 


Script:

I am going to pretend I did not hear that comment and move right along, but consider this a warning that such comments will not be tolerated in the future.





Mary Greenwood, Negotiator, Mediator, Arbitrator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of ten book awards; How to Mediate Like a Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes, Winner of 11 book awards; and How to Interview Like a Pro, 43 Rules for Getting Your Next Job, Winner of 12 book awards. Email: mgreen464@aol.com, Visit www.marygreenwood.org

Friday, September 26, 2014

How to Negotiate Like a Pro and How to Mediate Like a Pro are texts at Nova Southeastern

How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Negotiate Like a Pro are required textbooks in the Fall 2014 Semester at Nova Southeastern University in Fort Lauderdale, Florida for its online Alternate Dispute Resolution Course, which is part of the Masters Degree in Science Program.

How to Mediate Like a Pro has won 13 book awards and How to Negotiate Like a Pro has won nine book awards.




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney

Friday, August 8, 2014

Book Signing on Saturday September 20, 2014 from 4:00 to 6:00 at BooksPlus Bookstore Fernandina Beach

Authors in the Round, Saturday September 20, 2014, at BooksPlus Bookstore

From 4:00 to 6:00, Ten Authors, including Mary Greenwood

Wine Tasting plus book signing

Address: 1743 A S. 8th St., Fernandina Beach, Intersection of T.J. Courson and 8th St in Nassau Diamond Building across from Compass Bank.

Call. for more info: 904-261-0303

www.booksplus.amelia.com

BooksPlus Bookstore specializes in local authors



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of 9 book awards, How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes Winner of 13 book awards, How to Interview Like a Pro, Winner of 12 book awards,
Visit www.MaryGreenwood.org

Friday, June 6, 2014

How Book Awards Can Help Your Marketing Effort: The Good, Bad and the Ugly.

When applying for book awards, you need to use some common sense and caution.



Getting awards is fun (the Good), but you don't want your money to be wasted (the Bad) or even be scammed (the Ugly.)

Here are some things to look at when deciding whether to enter an award contest.

1. What is the cost?

Some think that any cost is too much and won't enter an awards contest that costs anything. My view is that $50 is a good price point. If you do win, where can you get that kind of publicity for $50? In addition, there are some administrative costs to running an awards event and that seems reasonable to me. I won't apply for a contest that costs $150 or more. You have to wonder where that money is going.



2. How often is the book award contest conducted?

If more than once a year, I am a little suspicious. Also if I don't win one year, I am not going to try again. I already have an idea what they think of my book and I don't have to pay more money to find out for sure. If anything, there is more competition the next year.

3. If an award asks for personal information like passport number or drivers license number, run for the hills!



If you read the instructions and see that you have to give personal information, you may be setting yourself up for a scam. Usually you have a choice on how to pay. I like to write a check even though it takes longer to get there. I also like to pay with PayPal. If you are requested to pay before you get instructions, then you know you are being scammed.


4. What is the prize? Don't give away your rights.

If the prize is a publishing contract, be sure to read the rules very carefully. You don't want to give away the rights to your book. Is this really a contest or a way for publisher to get you to pay a fee a book contract or a way to get you to pay a big fee for editing.



5. What is the prize? Be wary of winning an entry in an anthology

There may be legitimate anthologies for poetry or a specific topic, of course. However, if your prize is the opportunity to be in an anthology and you get the right to sell copies of that anthology, you may want to rethink that. Who is going to read this anthology except for the authors?



6. What is the prize? A trophy but you must pay for it.

Now if you are charged $5 or $10 to get a medal, that is reasonable, but if you have to pay $100 or more for a trophy, that seems excessive. You have to ask yourself, who is making the money?



7. What is the prize? Money, judges' comments, website listings, stickers, trip to award ceremonies, book festivals and press releases.

I like book awards because of the Public Relations for my books. The book awards may send an email or press release that can be shared to your friends and contacts. Money is nice, but usually that is only for the grand prize winner. Judges' comments can be useful, but sometimes they can also be annoying. Lately a judge criticized my book on interviewing because it didn't have anything on resumes. Well there are plenty of books on resumes, but mine is about interviewing! It is usually too late to make any changes anyway so I don't ask for judges' comments anymore.



Often the book award will list your book on its website. If you get that opportunity, be sure to do that. Often there will be a link to Amazon or Barnes and Noble to buy your book so that can be another revenue stream. Others will give you stickers or charge a small fee for them. My experience with stickers is that they fall off and can look unseemly. I don't put them on my books anymore, but it is nice to take a photo of the sticker for your website or blog. Often the grand prize winner will get a trip to the awards or a weekend at a writers retreat. This is nice but remember only one person gets this. You will have a better chance getting a prize in your category.

8. Who are the judges?

Read the fine print and see who the judges are. When the books are part of a reviewers' book awards, such as Readers Views and Readers Favorites, the books will be reviewed as well as judged. Be careful if the rules say the judges will read only a certain percentage of the book. We all know it may not take long to tell whether a book is award material, but you want your book to be read.



9. Who are the sponsors and how long has the award existed?

The book awards are usually sponsored by publishers, publisher organizations, reviewers, and book festivals. The Eric Hoffer Book Awards were previously called Writers Notes and a few years ago got permission from the Eric Hoffer Estate to use his name. The Writers Digest has been around for 20 years and the IPPY Awards for 16 years. Just because an award is new does not mean I won't enter it since it is also a way to get on the ground floor for something new. If I like the concept, I will go ahead and enter.

Book Awards have really helped me in my marketing effort. If you follow some of the guidelines above, you will be entering book contests like a pro!

See my previous post for some more tips on book awards.



Mary Greenwood, Author of How to Interview Like a Pro, winner of 13 book awards; How to Mediate Like a Pro, winner of 13 book awards; and How to Negotiate Like a Pro, winner of 10 book awards.





Book Awards: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

Once You Win a Book Award, be sure to get as much mileage out of it as you can.


     Winner of 13 book awards

1. Put award-winning book or award-winning author interchangeably with the name of your book or your name as the author. If you have won more than one award, use “multi-award winning.”

2. Go through everything you write and change it to award-winning. This can include your profile on Facebook, LinkedIn and Twitter. Look at your blog and Website. If you have previously written ezines or other articles, update them with your new awards. 

3. Use Google Alerts with the name of your book to see how much PR you are really getting. This will help you decide where to put your continued efforts. I like to google some key phrases periodically to see what Google alerts may have missed.

4. Write a detailed Press Release every time you win an award. I like to tell the history of the award and even list the other winners in my category. I may even write some nice things about the other winning books in my category. Then I write an email to those other writers with a copy of the link along with my congratulations. Sometimes these other winners will reciprocate by putting something about me on their blog or website.

5. Send copies of the Press Releases to anyone who might be interested in publishing the information. For example, send to your current newspaper and other newspapers such as your home newspaper or a newspaper where you previously lived. Send to your alumni associations, your employer and your professional organizations such as the local bar association or Rotary. Send to your local writers’ group newsletter. 

5. Put book award information on your signature on your email account so that everyone who receives an email from you will see this information. This is sent automatically and often, I will get a response like, “ I did not know you were an author,” or “My daughter is looking for a job and could use this book on interviewing.” If it is not relevant to your email, you canalways delete the signature before sending. 

6. Write blurbs or tips with "award-winning author" that people will want to share with others on Facebook or retweet. That will help your information go viral. 

7. Send the information frequently. You don’t want to be obnoxious, but sending something only once may leave out people who don’t check Facebook or Twitter on a regular basis. Some things do bear repeating. You can always tweak the post so it is a little different from earlier ones. 















Winner of 13 book awards



Thursday, June 5, 2014

Happy Father's Day Dad. Repost of Jackisms



Happy Father's Day
As Father's Day approaches, I like to repost my list of Jackisms, which my sister Sara and I have compiled. There are probably more. I wake up thinking of new ones, but often forget to write them down. They are mostly sayings of optimism and humor, which often get me through any bad day. I miss you, Dad!

JACK GREENWOOD’s Jackisms 1915-2009
A Gentleman and A Scholar

1. If you stick with me, you will be wearing diamonds.
2. Keep your snorkel up
3. Keep your chin up
4. Better than a sharp stick in the eye
5. Oppydildock
6. Bellyup (like a fish)
7. Don't take any wooden nickels
8. Let it roll off your back.
9. Roll with the punches.
10. As I live and breathe.
11. You are a sight for sore eyes.
12. Go get 'em tiger.
13. Connecticut is God's country
14. Connecticut is the banana belt of New England
15. The chief
16. Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk.
17. Put your best foot forward.
18. Always dress your best.
19. Go pound sand
20. Knock them dead
21. You can always tell a Greenwood, but you can't tell him much.(on pens at 90th birthday party)
22. What have you done for your country today?
23. Hold the fort.
24. Rigamarole
25. Discombobulated
26. Don't forget your mittens. (from The Man in the Grey Fannel Suit with Gregory Peck and referred to when Marnie rented the porch to live)
27. Good on you.
28. Everyone is a critic
29. Give me high test (coffee)
30. That will grow hair on your chest
31. That will stick to your ribs
32. That is good for what ails you.
33. Have a hot toddy.
34. Pipe down
35. Hold the phone (stop)
36. Hold your horses
37. He's a peach of a guy
38. Trust in the lord
39. You don’t know how to eat.



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of 10 book awards,  How to Interview Like a Pro, winner of 13 book awards, and How to Mediate Like a Pro, winner of 13 book awards. Visit: www.MaryGreenwood.org







Tuesday, May 27, 2014

How to Answer This Question in an Interview: Why do you want to work for this company? How to Interview Like a Pro

How to Intervieiw Like a Pro


What do you say when the employer asks you why you want to work for this company?
1. Don't mention money or benefits
Your answer should be about the company and not about you. The employer does not want to hear that you are thrilled with the benefits or that you think you can get a higher salary here.
The company wants to know what you can contribute and what you know about their operation.
2. Show that you have researched the company thoroughly
Many applicants don't know that much about the company. What little they do know is from the job description itself. Be sure you Google the name of the company to see what the current issues are and thoroughly search the website. You may be surprised what you can find, such as annual reports and surveys.
Here are some examples to show your knowledge.
A. I saw that you won the Sterling Prize last year and my experience is compatible with those principles.
B. I believe your engineering department is the best in the state and I would like to work on the _____ Project.
C. I read in your Annual Report that you are embarking on the ____Project. I have designed some prototypes that could be very helpful in developing this project
3. You can mention locale, but it should not be your first answer
Everyone would like to live in Hawaii or Florida or be near skiing so those really aren't good reasons. However, if your parents live in the area, that is worth mentioning but only as number 3 or 4.
4. Be Sincere
Don't say that this is your dream job unless it really is. If you have always wanted to work here, say so. Tell them that you wanted to get some experience elsewhere so that you could hit the ground running,
5. Show that you are the best-qualified for the position
You want to work for this employer because everything you have done up to this point has prepared you for this position. Then you can briefly go through some of your previous jobs and explain how the duties or experience have relevance to this job.
6. Be enthusiastic
Don't get crazy, but show your future employer that you are a good fit for this job and why.
7. Be careful about making suggestions.
Don't be hasty in making suggestions. If asked how you would do something, don't give a definitive answer. Say you would ask others what they thought and research thoroughly before giving an opinion. No one likes a know-it-all and if you give an off the cuff suggestion, this can backfire.




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How to Interview Like a Pro, Winner of 13 book awards, How To Negotiate Like A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of 10 book awards, and How to Mediate Like a Pro, Winner of 13 book awards. Visit www.MaryGreenwood.org

Wednesday, May 7, 2014

How to Negotiate Like a Pro When Renting an Apartment


Renting an Apartment is Like Interviewing for a JobWhen you are looking at apartments, it is almost like a job interview because the owner or agent is looking to pick the best tenant for this rental unit. The agent wants someone who will help keep up the value of the apartment. Here are some tips to help you get to the top of the line.


Look the part
You need to dress the part of a responsible person who will take good care of the apartment. You don't need to wear a suit, but you should look neat and wear nice casual attire. As they say, you don't have a second chance to make a first impression.


Act the part
Just like an interview, a firm (but not too firm) handshake is in order when you introduce yourself. Be sure to look the agent/owner in the eye and smile. I like to make some nice comment, like "what a view!" or "what a nice garden!" or something else positive. The agent will give you his/her card. I like to give my business card. It is a handy way to give my contact information and it shows again that I am a responsible person that can be entrusted with an apartment.


Be observant and ask questions
It is a lot better to see the apartment's problems or flaws before you move in. If you see a water spot or suspect there may be flooding, ask questions about it. If the apartment is near the road, see if you can hear traffic. You should look at the unit with the same diligence you would use if you were considering buying the unit. If you see something, point it out and ask whether it will be fixed before you move in. It is a lot easier to get something fixed before you move in than after!


Visualize yourself in this apartment
I like to visualize myself living in the apartment. This helps because sometimes I can either be too critical or overlook major flaws in the apartment. If I really like a unit, there can be a halo effect so that I don't see any flaws, until it may be too late. Drive through the neighborhood and see if there are people on the street. Do they wave to you? I find it comforting to know my neighbors are friendly. How far away is the grocery store? How close is the nearest restaurant? You are not just renting an apartment, but you are really renting a neighborhood. Trust your instincts. If there is a problem, try to resolve it or walk away.


If you don't like something, speak up
Is there something about the apartment you don't like? Is it perfect except for just one thing? Then speak up. For example, I looked at a rental condo that I really liked. It was spacious and close to the beach. However, it had an ugly old shag carpet that was burnt orange and even covered the steps to the second floor. When I was visualizing myself in this apartment, I just could not get past this shag carpet from the 70's. Finally I thought, "what do I have to lose?" I am not going to take the condo in its present condition. I asked the realtor if it would be possible to replace the rug. Apparently others had complained as well and the realtor said "yes," after consulting with the owners. I rented the condo with a nice new tan carpet that matched my furniture and was very happy. I know I would have been miserable if I had to deal with the orange run on a daily basis!



If you follow these tips, you will be negotiating like a pro!


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate Like A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of nine book awards, How to Mediate Like a Pro, Winner of twelve book awards, and How to Interview Like a Pro, Winner of twelve book awards. Visit www.MaryGreenwood.org