Monday, January 8, 2018
Mary Greenwood's award-winning books How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Negotiate Like a Pro are Textbooks in College Classes
How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere are textbooks at DePaul University, NSU, Malta U, UCF, UNT, UAA, and Brown
How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere have been used as textbooks in several College and University courses and workshops on Mediation, Negotiations and Alternate Dispute Resolution (ADR), including the University of Alaska at Anchorage, DePaul University, Nova Southeastern University, University of Malta, University of North Texas at Dallas, University of Central Florida and Brown University.
For more information contact www.MaryGreenwood.org; www.amazon.com/author/marygreenwood Mary's email: MGreen464@aol.com
**FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE**
First Reviews of Mary Greenwood’s Award-Winning How to Negotiate Like a Pro, Third Edition,with new chapter on Negotiating with Difficult People.
St. Augustine Fl.. – Here is what the reviewers are saying about the third edition of How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere:
Susan Violante for Reader Views: “Overall I found the author did an awesome job presenting the reader the ballpark information needed to prepare, conduct and close a negotiation, regardless of whether at a professional or personal level. My favorite part of this book was the scripts, as they actually provided me with words as instruments to apply a negotiation strategy. …I was surprised on how confident I felt going into a more formal level when negotiating with a customer. “
Jo Manning, published author. “Mary Greenwood’s books, which include How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Interview Like a Pro, are written in an approachable, succinct, reader-friendly, no-nonsense manner. Negotiation strategies are key, and Greenwood is very clear as to how strategizing works to one’s ultimate benefit. She is the ‘pro,’ who will guide you to becoming a pro. Her subtitle is How to Resolve Anything, Anytime Anywhere and she lives up to it. Greenwood’s tips on dealing with narcissists are spot on. —and again how timely.” How to Negotiate Like a Pro is “brilliant and succinct.” “These tips are useful to everyone, at every stage of our lives, and especially in these trying times, and you will thank Mary Greenwood each time you use it for writing it.”
Sally Helen Constain, published author. “I leave it on my night table as a reference book. Mary clarifies and guides the reader. This is an eye-opener and can be a life changer. The writing style is clear and conversational. Highly recommended for everyone, and also makes a great gift.”
Nadine Salazar. “There is so much new updated material in the Third Edition and an exceptional new chapter on How to Negotiate with Difficult People. This edition encompasses so much more, old and new. Congratulations on a well-written book.”
Earlier editions have won 9 book awards: Winner, Indie Excellence; Winner, DIY Book Festival; Finalist, National Best Book Awards; Finalist, ForeWord Book of the Year; Runner-up (2 categories,) New York Book Festival; Finalist Readers Favorite; Finalist, International Book Awards; Honorable Mention, London Book Festival.
About the Author
Mary Greenwood is an attorney, negotiator, mediator, arbitrator, human resources professional, and author of three award-winning books. Greenwood lives in St. Augustine, with her Boston terrier, Annabelle. For more info, see WWW.MaryGreenwood.org; www.Amazon.com/Author/MaryGreenwood; Mary’s email: Mgreen464@aol.com.
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
2018 New Year's Resolutions
Have you made your New Year's Resolutions yet? Some say resolutions are made so they can be broken. Start with a list, a very short list. What do you want in 2018 that you did not achieve in 2017 even though you tried. What worked? What didn't work? What held you back?
How to Negotiate With Your NemesisIn relationships, whether at home or at work, there is usually at least one person who is a friction point. No matter what you do or say, no matter whatever strategy you use, it usually turns out badly. You said too much; you said too little; you were too mad; you were too angry. This person is your nemesis. Just visualizing your nemesis or even just saying your nemesis' name probably elicits an emotion like anger, fear, or annoyance. Like all of us, you probably have more than one but pick one to use your new skills.
1. Don't be Distracted by Your Emotions
A. What is it that irritates or angers you about this person?Sometimes this is hard to determine, but focus on how you feel after you have a discussion or argument with the nemesis. Did they say something or do something that hurt your feelings?
B. Once you have figured out what makes them so maddening, try to neutralize that feeling.Try to get beyond what made you mad in 2017 and resolve to be neutral in their presence and that you will try some new techniques in 2018.
C. It does not matter whether you like the other side or not.Some people are obnoxious, rude and insulting. However, this does not mean that it is impossible to negotiate with them although it might be more difficult. The other side may be playing you and trying to "get your goat" as my mother would say. The key is to focus on the negotiation and ignore the other side's efforts at baiting you.
D. Can you proceed?Decide whether the time and energy to deal with this nemesis is worthwhile. If a person is toxic to your life, then you have to make a decision as to whether the negotiation is worth saving and whether you are willing to give it another try. This is why many people like to communicate through their attorneys because they don't even want to look at the other party.
2. Techniques to Deal With Your NemesisA. Don't let the other person get under your skin or into your head.Sometimes the best way to succeed is to ignore the comments, especially if they do not pertain to the negotiation. Push ahead to say what you are specifically willing to accept.
B. Let the other side rant but make it a short rant.A healthy amount of venting can go a long way. Sometimes the nemesis wants to rant about the past,so let him. Just don't take the rant seriously or let it affect your mood. It is almost like recess for children. A few minutes in the playground can clear the mind.
C. If things are going well, keep going, If things are not going well, take lots of breaks.If things are getting too emotional or you are not making any progress, breaks can help. It allows the parties to calm down and you can prepare another strategy if the current one is not working.
D. Schedule according to the personality of your nemesis.If your nemesis is a night owl, don't schedule a meeting in the morning. If your nemesis needs three square meals a day, be aware that your nemesis' angry attitude may be caused by hunger. Have snacks and healthy food available.
E. Try humor.Humor can reduce the tension of a tense negotiation. A well-placed joke can do wonders. Just make sure it is clean and not sexist or racist. That kind of joke would do more harm than good. Everyone likes a good laugh and it helps all parties relax a little.
F. Know when to hold and know when to close.If your negotiation is not going well, your may want to declare an impasse. Try everything you can to keep the negotiation going. If you are making some progress, no matter how little, it may be worthwhile to continue. However, if you have not made any progress for awhile, it may be time to throw in the towel.
A. How to Negotiate With a narcissist a. What is a narcissist?A narcissist lakes empathy and does not care about your point of view. A narcissist is arrogant, boastful, egocentric, self-important and selfish.
3. Techniques to Negotiate With Your Nemesis
b. Leave your ego at the door.When negotiating with a narcissist, try to make the narcissist look good. That means you may look bad, but consider this negotiation an acting job. You may have to compliment the other side. Be as sincere as you can muster.
c. Get to the point quickly.Narcissists have a short attention span so don't make it overly complicated. Bullet points work best. Skip the background material you might use in another setting.
d. Never interrupt a narcissist.Don't be insulted if a narcissist interrupts you. Narcissists interrupt because they think that what they have to say is more important that what anyone else has to say.
e. Give the narcissist all the credit.If the negotiation gets resolved, give the credit to the narcissist. If the negotiation goes badly, take the blame.
B. How to Negotiate With a Bully
a. Ignore the bully tactics.
You are not going to intimidate the bully with the same tactics he or she uses. You need to ignore his bully tactics or remarks and remain confident.
b. Out-prepare the bully.You should always be prepared, but when dealing with a bully you need to be over-prepared. Draft your resolutions, prepare your backup plans and memorize your talking points. Try to predict what the bully's goals are and what will be his objections to your proposals. Your preparation will also help your self-confidence.
c. Call out the bullyWhen the bully acts out and raises his voice or tries to threaten the negotiations, ask him a few questions and see what the response is. You must remain calm and not ask these questions with anger or intimidation in your own voice. ou can ask in a matter of fact tone, "Why did you come to the negotiation today if you don't want to participate? What exactly did you expect from these negotiations today."
d. If the bully continues his intimidation techniques, give him an ultimatum.You could say something like this in a calm voice, "I am finding your behavior intolerable today. If you want to try again tomorrow with your counter-proposals, let's see if we can reach an agreement.
e. Give him one last chance; then walk away.If the bully does not make concessions or want to participate in the negotiations, then declare an impasse and walk away. It would be pointless to continue.
C. How to Negotiate With a Liar a. Tell the Truth, Even when those around you are obviously lying, be sure you are telling the truth. If you start lying, too, the negotiations are doomed.
b. Assume everything the liar says is a lie unless proven otherwise.When negotiating with a liar, you need assume everything is a lie and act accordingly.
c. Take detailed minutes of all negotiating sessions.
Since you are assuming everything said is a lie or will be denied later on, it is important that you have good records of all of your meetings. If both parties agree, it would be even better to record all meetings. Try to have your side be responsible for the recording. if you don't record, then take detailed minutes of each meeting. At the beginning of each meeting, pass around the transcription or minutes of the previous meeting for the parties to approve. If it is denied later on, you have proof that it was earlier agreed to by all parties.
d. Get everything in writing.Have the other side sign any provision agreed to by both parties as soon as possible. Have a draft available at the meeting so it can be signed after both parties agree to it. This will make it difficult, but not impossible, for the liar to change his mind later on.
If you follow all these tips, you will be negotiating like a pro.
Excerpts from Third Edition of How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere by Mary Greenwood. Visit. www.MaryGreenwood.org
Saturday, December 9, 2017
HOW TO NEGOTIATE LIKE A PRO (3RD EDITION)
Mary GreenwoodiUniverse (2017)
Reviewed by Susan Violante for Reader Views (12/17)
I was drawn to “How to Negotiate Like a Pro” by Mary Greenwood right away, as I have always thought negotiating as a given talent that I totally lack. The book establishes from the beginning the author’s experience in professional negotiations as an attorney, human resources director, mediator, etc., but I found it interesting that she actually included in her repertoire her experience in negotiation as a Mother. When I read that I realized, this was a book I definitely want to read to truly understand the skill of negotiating.
Greenwood first tackles the topic by placing the reader in front of the negotiation process, helping them before it begins, to determine the goals they should focus on when going into the first negotiating meeting. The information is first presented within the process, by providing rules and a script along with examples of strategies and other tips. It then continues through different types of negotiations and “how-to’s.”
Overall, I found the author did an awesome job presenting the reader the ballpark information needed to prepare, conduct and close a negotiation, regardless of whether at a professional or personal level. My favorite part of this book was the scripts, as it actually provided me with words as instruments to apply a negotiation strategy. In this sense I found this book very helpful because I could actually put the information into action right away on the less formal types of negotiations we all have with our family members, friends, and even co-workers. By doing, so I was surprised on how confident I felt going into a more formal level when negotiating with a customer. I definitely will keep this book as a great guide for myself!
“How to Negotiate Like a Pro” by Mary Greenwood is an awesome, short, to-the-point guide which provides basic and useful information for the negotiator in all of us! I recommend it to everyone who thinks they lack the skill like I did!
Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Interview Like a Pro. Visit WWW.MaryGreenwood.org
Tuesday, November 28, 2017
Friday, November 17, 2017
How to Apologize Like a Pro
The third revised and updated edition of my book How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere was recently published. I have included a section in How to Apologize Like a Pro that is relevant during the holidays. I picked How to Apologize Like a Pro for three reasons.
- There is a lot of bad behavior in the recent news. When making an apology, some deny their behavior; some explain their behavior; and some try to apologize but often make things even worse.
- It’s the holiday season. If you are estranged from a relative or friend, maybe this is the year you will attempt to reconcile. Consider that your first move may be rejected but at least you know you made the effort.
- We are not getting any younger. As we get older we may regret things we said or did in the past and want to make amends before it is too late.
- What is an apology? A good apology is when one party accepts blame and responsibility for one’s actions and shows some kind of remorse or regret. Sometimes a party only wants an apology in order to resolve a dispute. It sounds like an easy way to settle a situation since no money is involved. However, that is usually not the case. An apology is in the realm of feelings and principles and some people see an apology as a sign of weakness. Why is an apology so important to some people? It is a way to get their respect, dignity and reputation back. An apology can be very satisfying especially if the other side feels that he or she has been vindicated.
Here are tips for a good apology:
1. The apology must be heartfelt and not be given begrudgingly.
If it is not sincere, the apology will make the situation worse. If a person cannot give a sincere apology, it is not worth the effort.
2. An apology cannot be sarcastic.
A sarcastic apology defeats the whole purpose of an apology; this is not a time to be snarky or flippant. An apology must be sincere.
A sarcastic apology defeats the whole purpose of an apology; this is not a time to be snarky or flippant. An apology must be sincere.
3. You cannot add a “but” to the apology.
You can’t say, “ I am sorry, but it was really your fault.” That isn’t an apology. I once had a serious argument with a family member; the next morning she purportedly called to make an apology, but then she added all the things I did wrong to the end of the apology. She should have just said “I am sorry.”
4. A good apology accepts blame.
As stated in Rule 3 above, people love being told, “you are absolutely right.” An apology that accepts blame is more likely to be accepted. “I really goofed on this. I am sorry and will try to make it up to you.”
5. Keep it simple.
It is enough to say “I am sorry.” or “I apologize.” The more you say, the easier it is to get in trouble. Don’t be tempted to add something more so that you make things worse.
6. If someone apologizes to you, be gracious and accept it.
It is hard for some people to apologize. Somehow it gets stuck in their craw. If someone apologizes to you, accept it, and move on.
Here are some examples of weak and then revised apologies:
1. I am sorry if what I said hurt your feelings.
Translation: I am not really sorry for what I said, but I am sorry you took it the wrong way.
Revised Apology. I am sorry I hurt your feelings.
2. I am sorry you were offended by what I said.
Translation. I am not saying I am sorry I said it.
Revised Apology. I am sorry I said that.
3. I am sorry if you misinterpreted my meaning.
Translation. I am not sorry. You made the mistake.
Revised Apology. I am sorry I said that.
4. I am sorry we had a communication problem.
Translation. It’s mostly your fault.
Revised Apology. I am sorry I misled you.
5. I am sorry that you feel that you need an apology for what I did.
Translation. I am not really sorry. You are very needy.
Revised Apology: I am sorry for what I said.
Never underestimate the power of an apology. Remember “To forgive is divine.”
Mary Greenwood, Negotiator, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro, How to Mediate Like a Pro and How to Interview Like a Pro. Books available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Nook and Kindle.
Sunday, November 5, 2017
1. Get to the point quickly.
Don't make it overly complicated. Skip the background and history you might tell someone with a longer attention span.
2. Summarize and put everything on one page.
If you report has several pages, put everything the boss needs to know on one page. Then summarize the one page with a conclusion.
3. Write a short agenda for your meeting for your use.
Write what you want to say, your quick arguments for your recommendation, so you know exactly what you want to say and how long it takes.
4. Prepare a written document for him to sign in case your boss agrees with your recommendation.
It will save time if you have a written document to sign or even two alternatives if there are two possibilities. This will save you the time of coming back just to sign.
5. Allow your boss to take credit for signed agreement.
Even if the recommendations were all your idea, give your boss all the credit.
Monday, October 30, 2017
Review of Third Edition of How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything Anytime Anywhere by
Sally Helen Constain, Author of The Keys to Fanny, Constain's epic debut novel.
October 27, 2017
This is the best 'how to' book ever! There is something here for everyone. The chapter headings and practice scripts are excellent ways to find the help you may need. I learned so much reading this book, and then re-reading select chapters. I leave it on my night table as a reference book. We live our lives negotiating in so many ways. Mary clarifies and guides the reader. This is an eye-opener, and can be a life-changer. The writing style is clear and conversational. Highly recommended for everyone, and also makes a great gift.
Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: How to Resolve Anything, Anytime Anywhere, Winner of nine book awards, Best How To Book, DIY Festival Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category Honorable Mention, London Book Festival; How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes Winner of five book awards Best National Book AWard, Law Category Best E-Book, New York Book Festival Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards Spirit Award, South Florida Writers Association, and How to Interview Like a Pro, winner of twelve book awards.
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org, visit WWW.MaryGreenwood.org.
Tuesday, October 24, 2017
Excerpt from Reader's Digest Online: How to Tell if you were Fired Illegally
The tough part about making a claim of wrongful firing (or wrongful treatment) is establishing the link between the employer's actions and your claim of being protected in some way. There are signs, however, that can clue you in to that link, according to Mary Greenwood, Employment and Labor Attorney, Human Resources Director, and author of Third Edition of How to Negotiate Like a Pro, How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere:
Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of Third Edition, How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: How to Resolve Anything, Anytime, Anywhere, Winner of nine book awards. Visit WWW.MaryGreenwood.org