I always learn something about negotiating after a visit with my grandsons, ages 2 and 4. One of my grandsons was very interested in obtaining a special car from the Cars and Cars 2 movies, which are his all-time favorites. He was very insistent that he wanted a special car and was unwaivering in his desire for his father to buy it for him. Watching him, I learned a lot about persistence and have incorporated some of these rules into my own negotiations.
Rules on Persistence
1. Don't give up.
2. Have a one-track mind.
3. Ignore whatever is being discussed and go back to that issue every chance you get.
4. Remind the other party frequently that this is all that you want.
5. Tell the other party that you are willing to have a tantrum if you don't get it.
6. Tell the other party that there is no substitute for the item you want.
7. Keep talking about this item no matter what is being discussed.
8. If you see it, pick it up in the store and don't put it back.
9. Make it clear that you are not leaving unless you get this item.
10. If there is discussion you don't want to hear, put your fingers in your ears and say "la-la-la-la-la."
11. Explain that you do not have an identical one at home; the one at home is green and this one is blue.
12. Explain that even if this is expensive, it will be worth the cost because you will not ask for another one.
13. Even if this won't fit in the suitcase, it can be shipped home.
14. Explain that this is the only thing that can make you happy.
15. If all else fails, say,"I know you are, but what I am I."
16. If offered another item, don't look at it.
17. Don't get distracted and focus on your goal.
18. Keep saying the same thing over and over no matter what.
19. Don't compromise. Why should you?
20. Point out that your birthday is coming up.
21. If all else fails, say, "The heart likes what the heart likes."
22. I might be running away from home.
23. I really need this.
24. In fact, I really need two of these so they can race each other.
25. I really need the carrying case, too.
26. Timmy's Mommy lets him have one.
I wrote this in 2011 and my grandsons are even better at negotiations now. I have watched these strategies in action and am going to try them in the adult world. Try these techniques in your own negotiations and see where it takes you. Maybe my grandsons can write my next book.
Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: Winner of 9 book awards ; How to Mediate Like a Pro, Winner of 12 book awards; and How too Interview Like a Pro, Winner of 13 book awards. www.MaryGreenwood.org
I am an attorney, mediator and author of three award-winning books: How to Negotiate Like a Pro, Third Edition, winner of nine book awards; How to Interview Like a Pro, winner of 12 book awards, and How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Resolving Disputes, which has won 12 book awards;