Be Persistent in Your Negotiations

Be Persistent



I always learn something about negotiating after a visit with my grandsons ages 1.5 and 3.5. One of my grandsons was very interested in obtaining a special car from Disney's Animated Film Cars. Watching him, I learned a lot about persistence and intend to incorporate some of these rules in my own negotiations.

Rules on Persistence

1. If you really want something, don't give up.

2. Have a one-track mind.

3. Ignore whatever is being discussed and go back to that issue every chance you get.

4. Remind the other party frequently that this is all that you want.

5. Tell the other party that you are willing to have a tantrum if you don't get it.

6. Tell the other party that there is no substitute for the item you want.

7. Keep talking about this item no matter what is being discussed.

8. If you see it, pick it up in the store and don't put it back.

9. Make it clear that you are not leaving unless you get this item.

10. If there is discussion you don't want to hear, put your fingers in your ears and say "la-la-la-la-la."

11. Explain that you do not have an identical one at home; the one at home is green and this one is blue.

12. Explain that even if this is expensive, it will be worth the cost because you will not ask for another one.

13. Even if this won't fit in the suit case, it can be shipped home.

14. Explain that this is the only thing that can make you happy.

15. If all else fails, say,"I know you are, but what I am I."

16. If offered another item, don't look at it.

17. Don't get distracted and focus on your goal.

18. Keep saying the same thing over and over no matter what.

19. If all else fails, say, "The heart likes what the heart likes."

20. Point out that Timmy's Mommy lets him have one.


I have watched these strategies in action and am going to try them in the adult world. Try these techniques in your own negotiations and see where it takes you.

Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author

How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awardsBest How To Book, DIY FestivalRunner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help CategoryFinalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year AwardsFinalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help CategoryHonorable Mention, London Book FestivalHow To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating DisputesWinner of five book awardsBest National Book Award, Law CategoryBest E-Book, New York Book FestivalBest How To Book, Beach Book FestivalBest E-Book, Indie Excellence AwardsSpirit AWard, South Florida Writers AssociationEmail: howtonegotiate@aol.com blog: howtonegotiatelikeapro.blogspot.com

Get A Reality Check; Rule # 6 How To Negotiate Like A Pro

What Is It Worth?



Whether it is a car, a raise at work, a house, a pedigreed dog, or a collectible on eBay, you need to know what your item is worth before you start the negotiation. You also need to set a spending or buying limit before you begin the negotiation.

If you are buying or selling something, you need to do some comparative shopping. A good source is the internet, especially eBay. Look at selling prices not asking prices when checking comparable items. Asking prices can be very misleading on eBay because there may not be any bids. Even if there are bids, there might not be a sale. You can quickly tell the difference because the bids below reserve are red and bids above reserve are green.

What an item is worth is often a lot less than what you paid for it and less than a listing in a catalogue unless the item is extremely rare. For example the value of a coin can be affected by the date, condition, or mintage. It is important to know an item's rarity. If something is readily available, buyers might not offer much because they know that if they dont get the item from you, they can easily get it somewhere else. However, if your item is very rare, then the whole psychology is different. This is why Antiques Road Show and similar shows are so popular. Now the buyers know that if they dont buy it from you, there probably wont be another chance anytime soon. Once you get that reality check, you can start your negotiation.

Rule 6 How To Negotiate Like A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes





Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

How To Negotiate Like A Pro With Your Spouse

How To Negotiate With Your Spouse. It can be difficult negotiating with a spouse or other family members because you will still live in the same house after the negotiations are over. A certain amount of sensitivity and decorum are needed. Here are some rules that will help you successfully negotiate with your spouse.

1. Request Ground Rules.

If previous discussions have been ugly, you may want to suggest some simple ground rules to make the process go more smoothly. For example, such basic things as a) no yelling, b) no interruptions, c) no sarcasm, d) no profanity and e) a willingness to compromise may set the stage for real negotiations.

2. Know What You Want And Anticipate What Your Spouse Wants.

Know in advance what it is you want from the negotiations. If you are discussing vacation plans, do your research in advance. Try to anticipate what your spouse wants so you can suggest something both parties can approve. For example once the destination is confirmed, each party could plan a day of activities. You can balance your love of art museums with your husband’s love of sports.

3. Look Forward Not Back

The past is called the past for a reason. If you are negotiating something that you have already hashed and rehashed, don’t bring in what happened last year or last month. Focus on what you are going to do today to resolve the problem. If you get mired into the same discussions, try to suggest something new or suggest something on a trial basis to see if it can work.

4. Focus On The Goal; Don’t Be Distracted By Emotions.

Dealing with a problem with your spouse or ex-spouse can be very emotional. It is important to come into the negotiation with a neutral point of view. If you are angry or hurt by something your spouse has said or done, it will be almost impossible to focus on your goals for the negotiation. If you check your emotions at the door, you will be surprised what you can accomplish.

5. Watch The Other Side’s Body Language.

Since you live with this person, you should be able to recognize his/her body language. Use this to your advantage. If you see that vein in his forehead throbbing, it might not be the best time to bring up something controversial. If she is strumming her fingers on the table and is impatient, maybe it is time to try to wrap things up.

6. Don’t Gloat.

If you get something you want, don’t gloat. There is nothing worse than seeing a spouse or even worse an ex-spouse smirk or gloat. The other side will only want to retaliate. You need to go through any negotiation with a poker face and save any celebration for when you are alone.

If you follow these rules, you will be able to negotiate with your spouse like a Pro.

Mary Greenwood, Attorney Mediator, and Author of How to Negotiate like a Pro, 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes
Available at http://www.amazon.com
Visit http://www.Marygreenwood.com
Email: Howtonegotiate@aol.com
DIY Award 2006, Los Angeles, California, Best "How To" book
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association