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Sunday, November 30, 2008

Art Basel Comes to Miami, Frost Museum Opens








The new Frost Art Museum on the FIU campus
© George Leposky




New Frost Art Museum at Florida University opened Saturday November 29. 2009

One of the advantages of living in Miami Beach is to be able to be part of Art Basel each year. The original Art Basel takes place in Basel, Switzerland in June of each year. For the last seven years, a satellite fair has taken place in Miami Beach in December. The main exhibit is at the Miami Beach Convention Center with many international galleries, but there is art eveywhere. There are over 20 different art fairs not to mention the openings, the galleries, the parties.

In the next few days, I will digress from negotiations and share my impressions of Art Basel on my blog.

Yesterday, I went to the opening of the Frost Art Museum. The 46,000 square foot building is itself a work of art designed by Yann Weymouth. The new museum cost $16 million dolars to build and includes nine galleries and 10,000 squarefeed of gallery space. 6,580 pices of stone and 42,390 square feet of granite from China were used to construct the building.


Robert Motherwell

My favorite exhibit was the Modern Masters from the Smithsonian. It shows artists like Romare Beardem, Larry Rivers, Jim Dine, Robert Motherwell, Sam Francis, and Lousie Nevelson who came to maturity in the 1950's. Five of the pieces were originally donated to the Smithsonian by the Frosts so the paintings have come full circle. We had a wonderful docent named Natasha give us a personal tour of the exhibit. She is a junior at FIU and was very knowledgeable and enthusiastic about the exhibit.

There will be a free Art Basel event at the Frost Museum on Sunday December 7th called Breakfast in the Park with Joel Shapiro from 9:30 -Noon. You still need to RSVP at 305-348-0401.

The Frost Art Museum is localed at 10975 SW 17th Street, Miami


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Winner Best National Book Awars, General Law Category
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Friday, November 28, 2008

What are the differences between Arbitration and Mediation?


Arbitration is a process where parties present their arguments in a hearing format to an arbitrator who writes the decision. By going to arbitration, they have given the decision-making power to the arbitrator, who acts as a judge.

The arbitration hearing is much more informal than court. Arbitration can either be binding or nonbinding. Labor/management arbitration is binding, which means that the decision cannot be appealed or overturned unless the arbitrator showed bias, discrimination, or fraud in his decision. The courts have long recognized that labor arbitrators have a specialized knowledge of labor law that judges generally do not have.

An arbitration that is not binding means that the parties can reject the decision. The parties have the option of going to court or even to another arbitrator. The non-binding decision is an independent assessment of the case and may be used in settlement later on. The parties may not take a non-binding arbitration seriously if they have the power to reject the decision. The parties need to look at how much they are willing to spend and how important the final resolution is to them before deciding how to proceed.

What Are The Differences Between Mediation And Arbitration?

Mediation: The parties agree to work with a facilitator or mediator to resolve a dispute.

Arbitration: Parties agree to present their arguments to an arbitrator for a ruling.

Mediation: The parties control the outcome.

Arbitration: The parties do not control the outcome.

Mediation: The mediator does not make a decision.

Arbitration: The arbitrator makes a decision.

Mediation: The mediator asks questions so he can help facilitate a settlement by the parties.

Arbitration: The arbitrator asks questions in order to make a ruling.

Mediation: The decision-making power is retained by the parties.

Arbitration: The arbitrator weighs the evidence and makes a decision.

Mediation: The mediator is neutral, ethical, and has no vested interest in the proceeding

Arbitration: The arbitrator is neutral, ethical and has no vested interest in the proceeding.




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes,
Winner of six book awards
Winner, National Best Book Awards General Law Category
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Saving Face is a good negotiations technique













Saving face is a way to allow someone else to get out of an embarrassing or problem situation with his or her dignity intact. Sometimes people are afraid to admit that they are wrong and the negotiator can help by showing them a way out of the dilemma. This is the opposite of driving someone into a corner, which will make a person fight even harder.

Giving someone a way out is a tradition in many countries. This can work in negotiations because it is a way to avoid embarrassment and resolve the problem. Saving face is often used in politics. Something is done so that the leader does not look bad. An example was the Cuban Missile Crisis in the 1960's. Initially, neither side wanted to give in so they would not be humiliated. By helping the other side not look bad, you may be able to get some concessions.

Saving face is also a way to be creative about a solution. For example, if you have a high-ranking employee who is not doing his job, you may want to demote him or her. However, this could be devastating to the employee's ego. Perhaps, he could get a different title in the new position that does not make it so obvious that it is a demotion. In such a situation, the employee may be salvageable and not be so angry and upset about a demotion

Try finding a way not to make the other side look bad and see where it takes you. Soon you will be negotiating like a pro.





Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Lincoln's Proclamation in 1863 started Thanksgiving


By the President of the United States of America.

A Proclamation.

The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consiousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.

In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the Unites States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,
Secretary of State


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

How To Negotiate Like A Pro and How To Mediate Like A Pro Available for Half-Price





The iUniverse Book Holiday Sale

Any purchases at the iUniverse Bookstore can receive a saving of 50% for family and friends of iUniverse Authors. I am passing along this savings to you.

Spreading holiday cheer just got a little easier with a festive deal that only iUniverse authors can give to their friends and family. For this week only, you can buy any soft cover or hard cover book from the iUniverse Bookstore for 50% off the Web site price!

With thousands of titles available, including How To Negotiate Like A Pro and How To Mediate Like a Pro, from cookbooks to guides and historical novels to memoirs, you can choose the perfect holiday gifts for youself and all the booklovers on your shopping lists.

This one-week only bookstore discount comes to an end at midnight Nov. 30. Use the code NOVBOOKHALF in the checkout process when you purchase your books. The iUniverse Gift Cardless Holiday Sale ends soon. http://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/







Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How To Negotiate With Your Family During the Holidays




Ever notice that when you get together with your family for the holidays that the same arguments and resentments bubble up through the good cheer year after year. Despite your best efforts not to let your siblings' comments bother you, you end up playing the same role in your family that you had in junior high. Here are some tips for getting along with your family this holiday season.

1. Concentrate on having a great holiday and don't get distracted by your emotions.

During this stressful holiday season, it is important to check your emotions at the door. Emotions such as anger or resentments lead to lack of control. You need to get past this stage if you are going to have a happy holiday. If you are the one who is angry or upset, you need to concentrate on what you what to accomplish (such as no scenes or confrontations) and not let anything stand in your way. It does not matter if you don't like a member of your family. Even if someone is rude, insulting, or even baiting you, don't give him or her the satisfaction that he or she has gotten to you.

2. Look Forward Not Back. The Past Is Called The Past For A Reason.

Don't try to settle old scores during the holidays. Remember your goal is to get through the holidays without any flare-ups. Even if one of your siblings did something to you in the past that still makes you mad, get beyond that and try to live in the moment and be happy. No matter how sophisticated and worldly we have become, somehow those same roles we had in high school show through and the same old pecking order manifests itself. In this situation, déjà vu is not a good thing.

3. Be Willing To apologize.

If you are estranged from a relative, maybe this is the year you will make the first move to reconcile. Be prepared to shoulder some of the blame even if you don't remember what the original argument was. Don't say, "I did not do anything wrong." or "It is against my principles to apologize!" That is beside the point. When considering whether to make the first move, keep in mind that people do make mistakes. Also consider that your first move may be rejected and don't be upset by that. At least you know that you made the effort and tried to take the high ground. A sincere apology, and I mean sincere, can go a long way.

4. Beware And Be Aware.

Be aware and don't let your guard down. Even if you think the holidays are going smoothly, don't be lulled into complacency. Be careful what you say and how you say it. One well-placed comment or zinger by you or someone else can spoil the whole holiday mood. Be alert to others' feelings. It is only a couple of days and you can get through it.

5.Be Thankful.


Be thankful for being able to share the holidays with your family. Remember that some of them may not be around next year or the year after and those very maddening habits you dislike now, you might even miss when they are gone. Try to remember all the good things and accentuate the positive. As my mother says, "If you can't say something nice, don't say something at all." Try saying something nice and see where it takes you. Happy Holidays.








Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Friday, November 21, 2008

Everyone Makes Mistakes


Mistakes are Inevitable







Things happen and mistakes are inevitable. There are two sides to making mistakes. If you find out that you made a mistake such as sending a package to the wrong address, it is good to "fess" up as soon as you know about the mixup. It is always better to hear about a mistake directly from you. If the customer hears it from someone else or discovers the mistake on his own, he will assume that you did it on purpose.

If you are on the receiving end of a mistake, this is a chance to be generous and understanding. Always remember that the goal is to resolve the dispute, and not to find out why the mistake was made. The sooner you put the mistake behind you, the sooner you can find the solution to resolve the situation.

Don't make the solution overly complicated or get too many people involved in it. For example, if you sent the wrong item to someone, don't expect them to send it to a third person. It is probably better to offer a refund at this point or have them send the item back to you so you can send it to the third party.

If it is not known who made the mistake, a lot of wasted effort can be directed to the events that led up to the mistake. Try not to dwell on who made the mistake and and concentrate on the solution.

Rule 18, How To Negotiate Like A Pro


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Don't Negotiate Against Yourself



Make the Other Side Make A Counter-Offer






When you negotiate against yourself, you are bidding against yourself. Let's say, for example, that you want to sell your watch for $100. You may point to your watch and ask your friend if he wants to buy it for $100. He does not answer and you quickly go down and ask if he wants it for $75.00. When he does not answer, you go to $50.00 and then he nods his head and says,"sold."

What did you do wrong? What you did wrong was not waiting for an answer. You must demand a counter-offer. Some negotiators cannot stand silence. The best negotiators know that silence is their friend and will wait and wait if necessary. When you are in a hurry, you may leave money on the table as they say.

When you get silence, you must ask what they will offer for the watch, not keep giving offers. When you don't wait for a counter-offer, you are no longer negotiating with the other person and you are negotiating against yourself.

Let's go back to the watch. You ask for $100. You wait and if there is no response, you ask how much they are willing to pay. If he says $80 or $90, you are already close to your goal and you can make a counter-offer yourself to arrive at the agreed price. If the other side offers $50.00 then you will probably be able to negotiate a sales price around $75.00.

Remember to wait for that counter-offer. If you don't you will be negotiating against yourself, and you will only have yourself to blame.

Rule 28: How To Negotiate Like A Pro



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Don't Expect Thanks or Gratitude When the Negotiations Are Over



After the dispute is resolved move on.

Don't expect any thanks or gratitude from the other side. The fact that the case has been resolved is thanks enough. Don't expect the other side to be grateful that you spent so much time on the settlement or that you conceded on some main points or that you gave a heart-felt apology. Sometimes there is a mental letdown after you have have invested so much energy in resolving a dispute. You may have had some sleepless nights as you were analyzing the pros and cons of your arguments and strategies. However, when it is over, it is over. Let it go.

Even though you should not expect thanks or gratitude for your efforts, you can still thank the other side for their efforts. Your comments and compliments might help future negotiations run more smoothly.

Give Yourself a Debriefing After the Negotiation is over.

This is a way to evaluate the case and make changes in future negotiations.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. Were any mistakes made?

2. What worked and why?

3. What could I have done differently?

Keep a Copy of Agreement For Your Comments

After finishing union negotiations, I always keep a copy of the contract nearby so I can make comments for the next negotiations cycle. As I read the language for a specific situation, I might catch a typo, misspelling or misplaced comma. Through interpreting the contract, I may see a section that I believe should be changed in the next bargaining sessions. These notes become the outline for my negotiating topics. Always write your name in big letters on your copy so you don't give it away by mistake.

IF you follow these rules, you will be negotiating like a pro




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Mary Greenwood's How To Mediate Like A Pro One of Six iUniverse books to Win 2008 USA News Best Books Awards


























Mary Greenwood's book, How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes is one of six iUniverse authors to be winners in the 2008 USA Book News Best Books Awards. She won in the Best General Law Category.

Here are the other five winners:

Paul Kiritsis in the General Poetry Category for Hermetica: Myths, Legends, Poems.

Michael Mehas in the Best New Fiction Category for Stolen Boy.

Tawan Perry in the College Guide Category for College Sense: What College and High School Advisors Don't Tell You About College.

Stephen Siciliano in Audio Book Fiction Abridged Category for Vedette or Conversations With the Flamenco Shadows.

Beverly Slomka in the Young Adult Young Fiction Category for Teens and the Job Game: Prepare Today: Win It Tomorrow.

There were also 25 iUniverse books that won finalist awards from the 2008 USA Book News Best Books.

How To Mediate Like A Pro also won best "How To Book" from the Beach Book Festival, "Best E-Book" from the Indie Excellence Awards, and "Best E-Book" from the New York Book Festival. Greenwood also won the Spirit Award from the South Florida Writers Association.


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Friday, November 14, 2008

Glass Ceiling Needs More Chinks; US is ranked 27th in Global Gender Gap Report


Women Gain in Education not Power



US ranked 27th in ranking of sexes in world



Glass Ceiling Still Needs Breaking




A Reuters article in the November 13th New York Times reports that "Women Gain in Education but Not Power, Study Finds." In its Global Gender Gap report, Norway, Finland and Sweden are ranked the top three, while United States ranked 27th after Germany 11, Britain, 13, France 15 ,and Cuba 25. Saudi Arabia, Chad and Yemen were at the bottom.


The report concludes: "A nation's competitiveness depends significantly on whether and how it educates and utilizes its female talen. To maximize its competiveness and development potential, each country should strive for gender equality."


Maybe we need a few more million chinks in that proverbial glass ceiling.




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

How To Barter Like A Pro




Bartering Is Back










The New York Times's article,"The Cash-Strapped Turn to Barter" by Mickey Meece on November 13 shows an increase in barter registration and transactions in an effort to hold onto cash and exchange services. The article gave an example of a painter who painted a house for $1000 in cash and $4000 as a credit in a bartering system.

I was curious how many bartering companies list mediation and/or arbitration service. I googled "Mediation Services" and "Barter" and came up with several barter companies that offer Medition Services: People Trading Services, Tradeyour trade.com, Ourwayhome.net, business.lovetoknow.com, mybarterclub.com, people trading services, and North American Barter Exchange. A member gets credits than can be used for future transactions. In addition, some individuals post on Crag's List to barter services one on one. Bartering has become more popular because a member business can get new customers, get referrals and conserve its cash supply. According to the New York Times article, bartering generates more than $3 billion dollars each year in the U.S.

Since bartering is a type of negotiation, I like the idea that Alternate Dispute Resolution Services such as Mediation and Arbitration can be paid for through an ADR process.


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Miami Book Street Fair: See My Books Booth 214





I am displaying my books, How To Negotiate Like A Pro and How To Mediate Like A Pro at Booth 214, which is sponsored by South Florida Writers Associationo ( I am a proud member.) We are close to the food court. The Street Fair takes place Friday November 14- Sunday November 16. There will be many other local writers at our booth.

Mention my blog and get a discount. I would love to meet you.




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes,
Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

One Good Thing From Bad Economy























Lehmann Brothers' failure may allow Connecticut shoreline to be preserved


In the New York Times on November 9, Gail Braccidiferro wrote an article "Preservation of Shoreline Forest Seen As Helped by a Bankruptcy." The area concerned, located in Old Saybrook, Essex, and Westbrook, is the largest unprotected coastal forest area between New York City and the Connecticut River.

Lehmann Brothers had planned on building a community called the Preserve that included 200 houses and a Golf Course. Since that is not going to happen, the Nature Conservancy, the Connecticut Fund for the Environment, the Audubon Society and the State of Connecticut all want the land to remain as a preserve, not The Preserve.

With all this interest and attention, it looks as though the land may become part of the public domain. It won't be cheap. The Old Saybrook part alone is appraised at 8 million, but the State of Connecticut seems willing to act to save this land for the people of Connecticut.

My parents lived in Old Lyme, Connecticut (on the other side of the Connecticut River from Old Saybrook) for over thirty years and my father, a 93 year old salt, has always loved the Connecticut River and the shoreline, which he calls the" banana belt "of Connecticut.  I am familiar with t his area and I am glad there is a good chance this area will be preserved.

We have heard so many gloomy stories about the economy and its trickle- down effect. At last there is a story that has a a potentially happy ending for this swath of forest that environmental groups want to preserve.


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Noah Webster and Crazy Horse






Crazy Horse


Model of Noah Webster Sculpture

Both by Korczak Ziolkowski




The statue of Noah Webster in West Hartford Center, now at Blue Back Square( see previous posts) was scuplpted by Korczak Ziolkowski. As a young man he asked the town if he could do a statue of Noah Webster, West Hartford's most famous citizen. There was a campaign to raise money for the sculpture and it was completed in October 1941. The West Hartford Library is now exhibiting the 13 inch model for the statue which has been in storage for many years.

Ziolkowski left West Hartford and was a soldier in World War II. After the war, he moved to the black hills of North Dakota where he worked on a sculpture of Chief Crazy Horse for 36 years, at Mount Thunderhead, a few miles from Mount Rushmore, until he died in 1982. It is still a a work in progress after 60 years although the head is complete and and is being finished by his sons and daughters.

That is quite a journey from the sculpture of West Hartford's favorite son, Noah Webster, to a whole mountain carved into a sculpture of Crazy Horse.

Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Noah Webster Fact Sheet






















 In the last two posts, I talked about Noah Webster, born in West Hartford, and his Blue -Backed Speller and the Webster Dictionary.

Here are some other facts about Noah Webster.

1. Noah Webster lived in a house in New Haven that belonged to Benedict Arnold, which was later saved by Henry Ford who
moved it to Greenfield Village, Michigan.

2. Webster fought for strict copyright laws. Only the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is based on Webster's own dictionary. Other Webster dictionaries are not.

3. Noah Webster received less than one cent per copy of the 25 million copies of the Blue-Backed Speller.

4. Noah Webster was frequently in debt (this is a pattern for writers, see previous posts about Mark Twain.)

5. He was a founder of Amherst College


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Noah Webster and his Dictionary

After the success of the Blue-Back Speller (see previous post.) Noah Webster started working on defining the words that Americans use. He did this because Americans speak and use words differently than the English. He also wanted people in different parts of the country to speak and spell the same way.

In his dictionary, he used American spellings like "color" instead of the English "colour" and "music and stead of "musick." His first edition, A Compendious Dictionary of the English Language was published in 1806 with 37,000 words. When he finished his American Dictionary of the English Language in 1828, he had defined over 65,000 words.

Whenever I google a word, I am going to think of Noah Webster and how he worked for 27 years to finish his Webster Dictionary.


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Noah Webster and the Blue-Backed Speller


As mentioned in earlier posts, I am spending a few days in West Hartford, Connecticut where I grew up. As a kid we passed the Noah Webster House on 227 Main Street almost every day. There is also a statue of Noah Webster near City Hall and the new Blue Back Square.

When I first heard of Blue Back Square, I thought it might be named after a whale. Then I had one of those "aha" moments. It was named after Webster's own textbook, A Grammatical Institute of the English Language. Its nickname was the "Blue-Backed Speller because of its characteristic blue cover.

Webster was a teacher, among other things, and, at the time, all the textbooks used in American schools were from England. Webster believed that Americans should learn from American books. For over 100 years, Webster's book taught children n to read and spell. It was the most popular American book of its time and sold over 100 million copies.

Noah Webster was committed to education throughout his life and felt that the survival of the US depended on the education of its childen.
(Note: the caricature of Noah Webster above is from the Noah Webster House and West Hartford Historical Society website: www.noahwebsterhouse.org)

Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Mark Twain and Negotiation

" Always Do Right." Mark Twain

As mentioned in earlier posts, I have been staying in the Hartford area, home to Mark Twain for many years. I see his quotes and name everywhere, not only at the Mark Twain Home and Museum, but Twain's quotess are on the wall at the Blue Back Square Mall, the new mall in West Hartford next to City Hall and the statue of Noah Webster, who was also born in West Hartford, and Big River, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is playing at the Goodspeed Opera House in East Haddam, Connecticut.

As I read and reread these quotes, I see how many are relevant to negotiations and mediation. Here are a few:

1." If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Notebook 1894

2. "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
Note to the Young People's Society 1901

3. When in doubt, tell the truth."
Following the Equator, Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar

4. Honor is a harder master than the law."
Speech 1895

5."There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus."
The Man that Corrupted Hadleyberg

Mark Twain is even more relevant today. I think I am going to go back and reread some of those classics. I am sure I missed some wisdom the first time around.



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Monday, November 10, 2008

Mark Twain Home in Hartford in financial trouble again

"The Lack of Money is the Root of all Evil" by Mark Twain

There was a story on Sunday Morning on CBS about the severe financial problems of the Mark Twain House that might cause it to close down. I made a mental note to visit the Mark Twain house on my next visit to see my parents who live nearby. I grew up in West Hartford and have many fond memories of the Mark Twain Home (see previous post.) Many people only associate Mark Twain with Hannibal, Missouri, but Twain wrote most of his best books in the Farmington Avenue home: Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn, The Prince and the Pauper, Innocents Abroad and many others. He moved to Hartford to be near his new publisher. The house has interiors by Tiffany before he got into stained glass. It has many of the artifacts from Mark Twain's time there including, the items on the mantel in the library where he would make up new stories for his daughters with each item.

There are many similarities to the financial problems today and the financial problems Samuel Clemens had during his lifetime. The house was built with his wife Livvy's inheritance and some money from a recent book.. To make money, Samuel Clemens invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in a new type-setting machine. Unfortunately, only a few machines were made and he lost all his money. There was also a financial Depression in the 1890's and Samuel Clemens was broke. He went on a speaking tour of Europe to recoup some of his money, but financial problems and the death of of one of his daughters made them leave their dream house.

In a parallel situation, the Mark Twain Home lived beyond its means. They built a grand Visitor Center in 2003, which was designed by Robert Stern, Dean of the Yale Architecture School and cost 19 million dollars. It has a wonderful film by Ken Burns, a large auditorium, and a beautiful gift shop. Now with mortgage problems, a sagging economy and the cost of energy, the Mark Train Home and Museum may have to close.

History repeats it self. This is the message on their home page now.

DOLLARS FOR TWAIN
The Mark Twain House & Museum needs your help to continue to operate. A donation, in any amount, will help us keep Twain's legacy alive and his Hartford home open for years to come. Donations are 100% tax-deductible.
Thank you


If you are in Connecticut, visit the Mark Tain house before it is too late. Even better join the museum or make a donation. Twain is one of our favorite authors and it would be a tragedy if somehow the Mark Twain Home was not open to the public.

What would Mark Twain say about all this?
"The lack of money is the root of all evil."

Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Mark Twain is Still Quotable

If You Tell The Truth, You Don't Have to Remember Anything

I visited the Mark Twain Museum Home in Hartford, Connecticut, this week and I picked up a sheet of Twain Quotes. I was amazed at how many quotes I remembered, but had not realized they were by Twain. His wit still shines and his comments are so relevant even a hundred years later.

I grew up in West Hartford, Connecticut, just on the other side of Farmington Avenue that goes into Hartford. I think we took Mark Twain for granted and did not know much about him except for Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn. I was an Associate Editor on my High School Yearbook and our theme was Mark Twain. We had pictures of Tom Sawyer and Becky Thatcher matched with high school sweethearts. We had Tom painting a fence matched with homecoming preparations. And we had Mark Twain quotes throughout the book.

Now forty plus years later, I was looking at all those quotes again. They mean a lot more after having some experience of life and Twain's wit always shines through.

Here are some examples:
"The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds."
Following the Equator

"All good things arrive unto them that wait--and don't die in the meantime."
Letter from SLC to Orion

"The Lack of money is the root of all evil."
More Maxims of Mark Johnson, 1927

"Travel is fatal to prejudice."
Innocents Abroad

"I was Born Modest, but it didn't last."
Speech 3.4.1906

When I get home, I am going to look at that yearbook with new and more experienced eyes.

"



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Negotiations, Poker,and the Presidency


Negotiations Are Like Poker
Presidents Like to Play Poker


On NPR Radio yesterday, the guest author was saying that many US Presidents liked to play poker. Apparently Eisenhower and Nixon were big-time poker players and many other Presidents liked the game, but the stakes were lower. Obama started a poker group in Illinois while he was a state senator. The question posed in the interview was whether Obama would continue to play poker in the White House.

Negotiations and poker are very similar so it seems natural that Presidents would like the game. The language of negotiations includes many references to poker. In negotiations we keep" bargaining chips" to get something that we want. Since we don't want the other side to know what we are thinking, we have a mask or "poker face." When we have a bad hand, we sometimes "bluff" so the other party is lured into thinking we have a good hand and might give up.

Maybe poker is a good thing in the White House. It hones negotiations skills that can be used beyond the poker table



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Focus On The Goal: Obama Knows How To Negotiate


"He took down a political machine without raising his voice," Peggy Noonan, former Reagan speech writer

Anger had no role in Obama's campaign. He focused on the goal of the presidency and did not let emotions interfere with that goal. That is Rule 1 in my book, How To Negotiate Like A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes.

The most-used adjective about Obama is "cool," as in "cool, calm and collected." No matter what was said or done during the campaign, he remained unflappable. When others booed during his speeches when he mentioned his rivals, he would say that it was not necessary to boo, it was only necessary to vote.

Not letting your emotions interfere with the goal is a strength not a weakness. When one is angry, one does not have as much control and may say something he will regret later. When one is "cool", the approach is rational, organized, and logical. I like having a "cool" President.

Rule 1 How To Negotiate Like A Pro





Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Be Willing To Apologize: Obama Negotiates Like A Pro


Rule 17: How To NegotiateLike A Pro

One of Mr. Obama's first act as President-Elect was to make an apology to Nancy Reagan. When asked about contacting former Presidents, he had said that he had talked to all living Presidents. He also said he did not want to get into a "Nancy Reagan thing" with seances.

Realizing his mistake, Obama said the remark was "careless and off-hand." He called Nancy Reagan and apologized and he reported back that they had a warm conversation. It turns out that she really did not have seances, but allegedly consulted an astrologer concerning his calendar according to a book written about Reagan's presidency. There were also reports in the press that Hillary Clinton conjured the spirit of Eleanor Roosevelt although it was not really a nouance.

Nevertheless, in any kind of mediation, negotiation, or snafu, being willing to apologize is a a good way to resolve the situation. However, it must be heartfelt. Many people find giving an apology difficult. Somehow it gets stuck in their craw and they blurt out an "I'm sorry." with no feeing.

Why is an apology so important? It is a way to give the other side respect, dignity, and vindication. If you make fun of a former first lady, action must be taken very quickly, Obama had to take responsibility for the remark. Sometimes explaining what you really meant can make things even worse. I would love to have known what he actually said to Nancy Reagan. Hopefully they will get a laugh out of it the next time they visit.

Rule 20 How To Mediate Like A Pro


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Thursday, November 6, 2008

How To Negotiate With Your Doctor Like A Pro


Be Prepared

A friend of mine had an appointment today for follow-up with her surgeon. She already had a catscan and a petscan. When she was waiting for the doctor with a paper gown, she was asked where the test results were. Here are some suggestions on being prepared when going to the doctor so you can negotiate like a pro:

1. Don't assume that anyone knows more about your specific medical situation than you do.
Therefore, it is your responsibility to have a copy of all your records in your own file. This will really come in handy when you are giving your history for a new doctor or for a new procedure.

2. Have the telephone and fax numbers of all your doctors.
When my friend mentioned that her procedure was done by a doctor in the same hospital, she was still asked for his telephone number. It is good to have all those numbers or staple all the business cards to the cover of your folder so it is handy.

3. Just because one of your doctors is in the same hospital don't assume that the records are readily available.
My friend had her catscan done in the office of her general practitioner and,therfore, the record was not available in the hospital's database.

4. Ask for your own CD copy of any test.
Instead of relying on the hospital's or doctor's records, you can just bring your own CD to your appointment (be sure to ask for it back.) In addition, you can ask for a copy of any report. IF the report is faxed to your doctor, ask them to fax a copy to you as well.

5. If you are having a procedure, bring a friend.
Four ears are always better than two. If you have been sedated, you may be a little shakey. If you are anxious, it may be hard to focus. You can assign your friend or relative the job of writing everything down so you can read it when you are in a better state of mind.

6. Don't be afraid to ask for a prescription for anxiety. medication
If you are having a procedure that may cause anxiety or is claustrophic, ask for anxiety medication. Sometimes they forget to ask you about this. Of course, if you take something for anxiety, you will need someone to drive you to the procedure and perhaps steady you while you walk.

If you follow these rules, you will be able to negotiate with your doctor like a pro.

Rule 5, Be Prepared: How To Negotiate Like A Pro







Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Winner of five book awards
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Look Forward, Not Back. How To Negotiate Like A Pro, Rule 2


The Past is Called the Past for a Reason.

Now that the election is over, I am struck by the sense of unity in the country. The concession speeches were civilized and magnanimous. McCain said he only blamed himself for his defeat. Palin went back to Alaska to be Governor but gave her best wishes to Obama and his family. Everyone is moving on with a sense of hope about the future.

If one party gets too involved in what has happened in the past, it can be counter-productive. For example in a divorce, one spouse may be so intent on documenting everything the other party has done wrong, that he/she is not thinking about the goals of the negotiation beyond blaming the other spouse. Both parties have to figure out a way to deal with the current issues of visitation and custody and not dwell on past wrongs.

In some cases, if the parties cannot get into the present, they may want to skip negotiation altogether and go into mediation (See How To Mediate LIke A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes.)

From Rule 2: How To Negotiate Like A Pro


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

How To Negotiate Like A Pro is Textbook for Nova University Online Course on ADR in Employment Discrimination










How To Negotiate Like A Pro is a Textbook for Employment Discrimination, a NOVA University Online Course being taught at Nova University in Fort Lauderdale by Professor Steven W. Leigh, PhD. The course is part of the Masteres of Science in Law program. How To Mediate Like A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes was the textbook in an ADR Course last semester emphasizing mediation.

The Negotiations course provides the students with the opportunity to survey the field of Alternate Dispute Resolution (ADR), including problem-solving, negotiation, arbitration,ombuds and mediation, with the main focus being on negotiations.

The course helps students become familiar with ADR concepts, practice and terminology. How To Negotiate Like A Pro provides a glossary of ADR terms as wll as scripts to help students apply the 42 rules in real negotiations.

I was a guest lecturer in this online class on Election Night. There were firefighters, police officers, Human Resources professionals,teachers, and others in the class from all over the country. I can see that online courses are the wave of the future. These programs are convenient and allow studentse to get an education in their specialty without physically moving to the campus.

Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes,
Winner of six book awards
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Glass Ceiling and the Election 18 Million Chinks


One of 18 million chinks in the glass ceiling.
It has been over 20 years since the Wall Street Journal coined the expression"Glass Ceiling" to explain the barriers women face to get to the highest levels of the corporate ladder.
I have seen the glass ceiling myself. I was in Law School in the 1960's and was asked by a fellow male classmate why I had taken a male's spot in the class. I was speechless since I was so surprised by the question. Since then I have thought of a lot of good answers.
I worked for the Equal Rights Amendment in the 1970's and was a Delegate to IWY (International Women's Year 1977) in Houston as a delgate from South Carolina. I was a Law School Professor in the late 1970's where I was the one of two women professors. Later I taught "Women and the Law" and "Employment Discrimination." I was a Law Professor in the 1980's and there were substantial numbers of female students, but still only four women professors.

I agree with Gloria Steinem who said that, "Clinton's candidacy has made it possible for huge numbers of people to imagine a female head of state." Sarah Palin also entered into the national discussion: lipstick on pigs, moose hunting, clothes, childcare issues, and babies with special needs.
As the Virginia Slims ad used to say: :We have Come A Long Way, Baby,"
Maybe we don't have that long to go. I am still hoping for a Woman President in my lifetime.



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

I Missed Tim Russert on Election Night


Left: Tim Russert with his white board

Middle: Rolling Rock, Tim's favorite drink


I really missed Tim Russert last night. I remembered that Tom Brokaw, one of his best friends, said at Russert's memorial service that he was going to take the mug that Big Russ, Tim's father, had given him and was going to save it for election night. Then he would fill it with a bottle of Rolling Rock, Russert's favorite drink, that he had "pilfered" from Tim's cooler in Washington. Brokaw said he would fill the mug with the Rolling Rock and hope that a call would come: "Tommy B., what's happening? This is wild!" Even though he knew the call would not come, he said he would raise the mug and use Russert's favorite expression: "What a Country!"

With all the innovations, surveys, diagrams, tabulations, gadgets, and frills last night, I still missed Tim Russert and his white board. I do feel better knowing that the white board is in the Smithsonian for safe keeping.








Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com