Happy New Year

Happy New Year!
I have a lot to be thankful for this year.



I have a new grandson, Gage.

Now I have three Gages (Gage is my son's and grandson Jack's middle name, too.)









Throughout the year I had my loyal companion Betty, the Boston Terrier












My book How To Mediate Like A Pro was published in February and won six book awards. The one that meant the most was the Spirit Award from the South Florida Writers Association. It was also published in Kenya by Acrodile Publishers









Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Desperate Times, Creative Measures from Guest Blog in ADRPages.com

I was delighted to be asked to be a guest blogger on ADRPages.com by Fey Ugokwe, J.D., Founder and Editor in Chief. I have reprinted the blog here. These are some things to think about the new economy in the NEW YEAR. http://adrpages.com/specialreports.php
SPECIAL REPORTS (GUESTBLOG):

Desperate Times, Creative Measures

by Mary Greenwood, Esq., ADR Author

http://howtonegotiatelikeapro.blogspot.com

www.marygreenwood.com

(edited by Fey Ugokwe, J.D., Founder/Editor-in-Chief ADRPages.com)

I recently received a very interesting e-mail from an online magazine that sells internet ad space.

Their e-mail had a 1-2-3-punch:

1. Check our current ad rates;
2. Tell us what you are willing to pay; and,
3. (As regards #2) We will quickly tell you ‘yes’ or ‘no’.

Their e-mail went on to say that:

a. The online magazine had never "resorted" to this technique before, but that these were "extraordinary" times;


b. One still needs advertising to sell, and that advertising is the online magazine’s sole source of revenue;

c. The online magazine wanted both the advertiser and itself to still be here when the economy improves;

d. If the online magazine and the advertiser could agree on a price, the advertiser could be offered an extended time to pay; and,

e. Even if the advertiser did not opt to buy an ad, they were welcome to call the online magazine and state how they were coping (in this economy).

Since I had written two award-winning books on Negotiation and Mediation, this "make me an offer" approach intrigued me. I made an offer, and subsequent to negotiation, we agreed upon a price--and my internet ad will be published.


What have you just learned about Sales Negotiations in this new economy?

1. We Are All In This Together.
We all indeed want to be in business when this economic downturn is over—and we now know that many familiar brand names will not be. Who would have thought that we would be saying something like this a year ago?

2. Desperate Times Call For Creative Measures.
You must not be desperate in these challenging economic times. You can't give in. You must really be creative and engage your customers. You must let them know that you will work with them and perhaps something can be worked out.

3. Make An Offer.
If you make an offer at the beginning of a negotiation, the worst thing that can happen is that the other side will say "no." On the other hand, the offer might be accepted. My situation with the aforementioned online magazine was a win-win: The online magazine now has a new customer--and, if that internet ad does well, I may post another one. Additionally, if we do all survive this economy, I probably will be amenable to paying full price for one of their internet ads, at a later time.

4. Work Out Payment Arrangements.
Some say that in this economy, payments can be extended. Others say “layaway” is the new credit card. Alternatively, more and more people are resorting to bartering as a form of working out payments, either informally, or via various more formal transaction web sites. As regards the latter, remember those stories about doctors getting paid with e.g., vegetables, during the Depression? Maybe there is indeed something that the other person can provide to pay, for what you are selling.

5. Keep In Touch With Customers.
I was struck that the online magazine asked the customer to call just to see how they were doing!
You must indeed let your customers know that you care about them--even if they are not currently doing business with you.

Happy Business Resolutions in the New Year!







Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

How To Negotiate With Your Family During the Holidays

Ever notice that when you get together with your family for the holidays that the same arguments and resentments bubble up through the good cheer year after year. Despite your best efforts not to let your siblings' comments bother you, you end up playing the same role in your family that you had in junior high. Here are some tips for getting along with your family this holiday season.

1. Concentrate on having a great holiday and don't get distracted by your emotions.

During this stressful holiday season, it is important to check your emotions at the door. Emotions such as anger or resentments lead to lack of control. You need to get past this stage if you are going to have a happy holiday. If you are the one who is angry or upset, you need to concentrate on what you what to accomplish (such as no scenes or confrontations) and not let anything stand in your way. It does not matter if you don't like a member of your family. Even if someone is rude, insulting, or even baiting you, don't give him or her the satisfaction that he or she has gotten to you.

2. Look Forward Not Back. The Past Is Called The Past For A Reason.

Don't try to settle old scores during the holidays. Remember your goal is to get through the holidays without any flare-ups. Even if one of your siblings did something to you in the past that still makes you mad, get beyond that and try to live in the moment and be happy. No matter how sophisticated and worldly we have become, somehow those same roles we had in high school show through and the same old pecking order manifests itself. In this situation, déjà vu is not a good thing.

3. Be Willing To apologize.

If you are estranged from a relative, maybe this is the year you will make the first move to reconcile. Be prepared to shoulder some of the blame even if you don't remember what the original argument was. Don't say, "I did not do anything wrong." or "It is against my principles to apologize!" That is beside the point. When considering whether to make the first move, keep in mind that people do make mistakes. Also consider that your first move may be rejected and don't be upset by that. At least you know that you made the effort and tried to take the high ground. A sincere apology, and I mean sincere, can go a long way.

4. Beware And Be Aware.

Be aware and don't let your guard down. Even if you think the holidays are going smoothly, don't be lulled into complacency. Be careful what you say and how you say it. One well-placed comment or zinger by you or someone else can spoil the whole holiday mood. Be alert to others' feelings. It is only a couple of days and you can get through it.

5.Be Thankful.

Be thankful for being able to share the holidays with your family. Remember that some of them may not be around next year or the year after and those very maddening habits you dislike now, you might even miss when they are gone. Try to remember all the good things and accentuate the positive. As my mother says, "If you can't say something nice, don't say something at all." Try saying something nice and see where it takes you. Happy Holidays.



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of six book awards
Best National Book Award, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Who will be the Presidential Pup? How about a Boston Terrier?

Why has it taken so long to pick a Presidential Pup? Many cabinet appointments have been made: Secretary of State, Energy, Education, and Climate Czarina.





Even VP elect Biden has picked a German Shepherd pup. How hard can it be?







I want to throw a "bone" in the ring for Presidential Pup.

How About a Boston Terrier? Of course, I have my own Betty, see above as a puppy, so I may be biased. However, I have listed ten reasons why a Boston Terrier should be in the running for the White House puppy.

1. The Boston Terrier is the first American breed recognized by the American Kennel Club.
There is an interesting history here. In 1865, two dogs were bred that are the ancestors of all Boston Terriers. Hooper's Judge, part English bull-dog and part English Terrier, and Gyp, a bull dog type dog. Their puppies were bred with similar dogs and after many years, a breed was formed that was accepted by AKC in 1983. The breed was first rejected when called the American Bull Terrier, but was accepted when called the Boston Terrier

2. Boston Terriers are called the American Gentleman (even the females) because of their tuxedo look and their gentle disposition.

3. They are very smart and alert.

4. They come in many colors.
The most common is black and white, but some dogs have brindle; some are brown (seal); and some are more white than brown or black.

5. There is precedent.
President Harding had a Boston Terrier.

6. They are affectionate, lovable and gentle
They do lick, though; they are loyal and good companions.

7. They are very energetic and love to "fetch."

8. They come in three sizes: small (15 lbs.), medium 20 lbs., large 25 lbs.

9. They don't shed; they don't have fur.

10. They are cute.

So, Obama family, what are you waiting for? Pick a Boston Terrier; go American.


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

How To Mediate Like A Pro Wins Award from London Book Festival

How To Mediate Like A Pro Wins Honorable Mention in the How To Category of the London Book Festival. The Awards Ceremony will be held at the Grosvenor Square Hotel in London on December 18, 2008.

This is the sixth award for How To Mediate Like A Pro, which has also won:

1. Best General Law Book, National Best Books Awards

2. Best "How To" Book, Beach Book Festival

3. Best E-Book New York Book Festival

4. Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards

5. Spirit Award, South Florida Writers Association






Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Be a Devil's Advocate

The Roman Catholic Church used the Devil's Advocate to investigate candidates for sainthood to see if there was anything negative concerning their candidacy. The idea behind the Devil's Advocate is that if it is someone's job to do an investigation, any detrimental information will come up as a result of this scrutiny.

Mediators use the Devil's Advocate as a device to give a reality check to one of the parties and point out the flaws in their arguments. The expression used is usually, "Let me play the Devil's Advocate." By saying you are going to play the Devil's Advocate the Mediator is not his own advocate and, therefore, isolated from criticism.

It is a convention so it does not appear that the Mediator is actually making the comments on his own behalf. By taking the outsider's role, the Mediator can point out the flaws in the other side's case. It is a great device because the other side cannot take offense. It is not the Mediator talking; it is the Devil.

Obama's Cabinet is a Group of Rivals. Will this allow them to be Devil's Advocates?

Rule 29: How To Negotiate Like A Pro



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

MTI (Mediation Training Institute) Selects How To Negotiate Like A Pro as "Blog of the Month"

MTI Monthly selected How To Negotiate Like A Pro as its "Blog of the Month." MTI has over 76,000 subscribers and was started to share an interest in conflict and its management.



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Art collectors from all over the world have come to Art Basel in Miami to buy and sell art. With the problems in the economy, even art collectors are looking for bargains.

Here are some tips for negotiating when buying art.

1. Ask for layaway (see previous post.) Because of the downward spiral, sellers are now more open to payment plans to make a sale.

2. See if you can barter (see previous post on barter.) Do you have something that can be exchanged for art? (massage, dog-walking, raw materials.)

3. Buy small so it can fit into your home or apartment.

4. Discover new artists before they are famous.

5. Follow the careers of your favorite artists so that they know you.
6. If you don't see anything you want, ask what is in the back.

7. Buy a draft rather than an original (it will be cheaper.)

8. Always have cash in hand.

9. Try to make a sale at the end of the event. The artist may be motivated to make the sale rather than shlep the piece back home.

10. Have fun!



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Winner, National Best Book Awards, General Law Category
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Layaway is a New Old Way to Negotiate

Is Layaway the New Credit Card?

In case you don't remember layaway from your childhood, layaway is a way to purchase an item without paying the full price upfront. Instead of taking the item home and paying with a credit card or some other installment plan, the customer does not take the item home until all payments are completed. The customer pays a non-refundable fee upfront and has a payment plan to pay the amount due. It the customer does not pay all the installments, generally, the customer still gets a refund of payments made minus the nonrefundable fee and the item goes back on the shelf.

Layaway goes way back. People bought farm equipment and sewing machines on layaway. It was also popular after the Great Depression in the 1920's and 1930's. Some stores continued the tradition, but it had lost favor, probably because we have become a nation of people who want instant gratification and don't want to wait to actually get the item to take home. They would rather just use a credit card and get it over with.

But Layaway has made a comeback. Because so many holiday buyers are cash-strapped, many stores are bringing the concept of layaway back and many people are discovering it again. There are even some modern twists to it. There are now websites where you can pick out your item, sign up for a layaway plan, and when you are finished paying, your item will be sent to you.

What are the pros and cons of the layaway system?

Advantages:

1. You can reserve an item that may go out of stock such as popular Christmas toys.
2. You can avoid high credit card interest.
3. You won't have that holiday hangover with big payments after the holidays.
4. If you change your mind and don't pay all installments, you get your money back, minus fees.
5. You can shop early, but pay later.

Disadvantages:

1. Even with layaway, you still might not be able to really afford the item.
2. There is delayed gratification; this is more important to some than others.
3. If you pay your installments by credit card, you may still have high interest payments.
4. Maybe you could have gotten the item cheaper with post-holiday sales.

As in any transaction, Let the Buyer Beware.
Ask yourself these questions:

1. With the present economy, can I really afford this item?
2. Can I get it cheaper elsewhere?
3. Can I wait and pay in full, therefore not incurring any fees?
4. Will I really get my money back if I don't make all the payments? Check the fine print on anything you sign.
5. Are you paying installments on credit cards and defeating the purpose of the layaway?
6. How much are the fees? Can I afford to lose them?

If used wisely, layaway can be an alternative to using your credit cards.

Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Which single word will strengthen your persuasion attempts?

The Answer is Because

I have been reading Yes!50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive by Noah J. Goldstein, Steve J. Martin and Robert B. Cialdini as part of a business book club, sponsored by the Miami Herald Newspaper.

My favorite tip was 35: "Which single word will strengthen your persuasion attempts?" The answer is "because."

An example of the use of because is in the Wizard of Oz. Dorothy, Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion sing along the yellow brick road, "We are off to see the wizard because because because because of the wonderful things he does."

Behavioral scientist Ellen Langer did a study. They arranged for a stranger to approach someone waiting in line to use a photocopier and ask, "Excuse me, I have 5 pages. May I use the copy machine?" 60 % said yes. However, when the person made a request with a reason, ("May I use the copy machine because I am in a rush?") 94 % said yes. And here is the kicker. Even when the reason was rather hollow (May I use the copy machine because I have to make copies?") 93% said yes.

However the use of because has its limitations. When the researchers increased the amount of pages to 20, the percentages changed dramatically and there was only significant compliance with a good rationale. The lesson learned is to give a rationale and make it a good one. We can no longer say "because I said so, that is why."




Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com