How Women Can Negotiate Like Pros

There are some stereotypes that women cannot negotiate as well as men: that women are not as aggressive, that women take things too personally, or that they are not taken seriously. We heard some of these stereotypes when Hillary Clinton was debating. As a woman negotiator myself, I don't believe these stereotypes are true. Since a woman may be subject to a higher standard, she has to play the part and look the part. Being a good negotiator is like being a good actor:

1. Never Let Them See You Sweat

It is important to check your emotions at the door before trying to negotiate anything. Emotions such as anger can make one lose control. If you are nervous, upset, or unsure of yourself, you need to focus on what you hope to accomplish and tell yourself that nothing is going to stand in the way of your goal. If the other side sees weakness, they may try to bait you, so don’t give the other party the satisfaction of knowing they have gotten to you. When I am upset with the other side, instead of getting angry, I actually speak more softly and more slowly to get my message across. I have found this very effective. Don’t let your emotions interfere with the negotiation and never let them see you sweat!

2. Be Prepared

Like the Girls Scouts, you must be prepared. If women feel they are not always taken seriously, they may have to work extra hard to do their research and be prepared. Much preliminary work must be done. If you are not completely prepared, consider delaying the start of the negotiation. If you try to wing it, you will regret it. It is important to have all the answers in advance. You cannot be over-prepared.

3. Look the Part

A woman should set the tone of the negotiation the moment she walks into the room. She must give good eye contact and be a good listener. She must dress professionally and not have anything distracting like chunky jewellery or a quirky hairdo. During the election, Hillary Clinton’s and Sarah Palin’s suits, eye glasses and hairdos were often of interest.


If you follow these Rules, you should be able to Negotiate Like A Pro.


Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

Fey Ugokwe, J.D., Founder/Editor-in-Chief of ADRPages.com and Mary Greenwood, J.D. discuss women negotiators

Fey Ugokwe, J.D., Founder/Editor-in-Chief of ADRPages.com and Mary Greenwood, J.D. discuss women negotiators in The Art of the Deal in Turbulent Times.

Fey's Q: What is the most egregious error that lay female bargainers typically commit, in your opinion, when attempting to negotiate the capture of such key items like houses and cars---especially when dealing across the desk from male sellers—and how should they avidly avoid such missteps?

Mary's A: There are stereotypes that women cannot negotiate as well as men--that women are not as aggressive, take things too personally, or are too emotional. I believe we [heard] some of [these stereotypes] when Hillary Clinton was debating. I don't believe these stereotypes are true. Since [a woman] may be subject to a higher standard, she has to play [the] part and look the part. Being a good negotiator is like being a good actor:

1. Never Let Them See You Sweat--it is important to check your emotions at the door before trying to negotiate anything. Emotions can make one lose control...[e.g.] nervous, upset, or unsure...[a woman] needs to focus on what she hopes to accomplish, and tell herself that nothing is going to stand in the the way of her goal;

2. Be Prepared--if [women] feel they are not taken seriously, [they] have to work extra hard [and] do their research. If not completely prepared, consider delaying the start of the negotiation;

3. Look the Part—a woman should set the tone of the negotiation the moment she walks into the room. She must give good eye contact and be a good listener. She must dress professionally and not have anything distracting like chunky jewellery or a quirky hairdo. In the debates, Hillary [Clinton]’s and Sarah [Palin]’s suits and hairdos were often of interest.

For the full interview with Fey Ugokwe and Mary Greenwood, see www.ARRPages.com