WELCOME

You Can Negotiate Anything, Anywhere, Anytime

Sunday, February 15, 2009

When to Stage a Temper Tamptrum in a Negotiation


If you want to make a point, a deliberately-staged temper tantrum might fit the bill. What makes this effective is that it is unexpected. If done sparingly, you can show that you mean business. Having a temper tantrum can also backfire. If a negotiation is particularly volatile and the parties are already discourteous and rude, a temper tantrum is not going to stand out.

If you do get angry, it should be on purpose and for effect as though you were an actor in a play. Generally it is better to be polite and charming, but not too charming or you will seem insincere. If you get angry and it is not staged, then you will be out of control. As Shakespeare said in As You Like It., " All the world is a stage and all the men and women merely players."

The whole negotiation process is acting to some degree. You don't want the other side to know what your position is and how you really feel. However, on rare occasions, you may feel that the timing is right to show anger. Just make sure you are acting and in control.

Here is an example. When you are told your reserved hotel room has been given to someone else, that controlled anger may be a way to get the hotel's attention since they generally won't want you to make a scene. One the other hand, you are always taking a chance that you will humiliate yourself. It is best to try this when you have nothing to lose and may never see this person again. If you go forward, prepare your script and practice just as an actor would do. Give details so the person knows why you are so upset. Since you are in control, don't go overboard with your performance. When you stage a scene like this, always end with a proposed solution. Otherwise your performance may be wasted and the other party may not feel like proposing a solution after you have yelled at them.

Remember this is a tactic of last resort and use sparingly.







Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com

No comments: