Hindu Business Daily Book Review

Business Daily from THE HINDU group of publications
Sunday, Mar 28, 2010


Money is not everything


Rule 1 that a mediator has to follow is to set the tone, says Mary Greenwood in How to Mediate Like a Pro: 42 rules for mediating disputes ( www.macmillanpublishersindia.com). “My idea of a good mediator is someone who is fair, honest, and creative. That is the tone I like to create. As in everything else, first impressions are very important,” she writes.

In a chapter on ‘how to get started,' the author instructs mediators to begin by getting the parties to say what they want. While that may seem obvious, it is not unusual that the parties to a dispute really don't know what they want. “Many are so angry that they have not even asked themselves how the issue can be resolved. They may want to hash and rehash the circumstances that got them into this mediation.”

By asking the right questions, the mediator helps the parties clarify their goals, and also let them state what they are willing to give up in order to get what they want. “Sometimes the parties don't realise that some compromise is in order and that they will not 100 per cent of what they want. Sometimes one side wants something that is not important to the other.”

Money is not everything, reminds Greenwood. For example, a truly heartfelt apology can go a long way to resolve a dispute, she adds. “An employee might want time-off instead of money such as part-time work, flextime, or vacation time. Sometimes what is wanted is convenience rather than money.”

The penultimate rule – that the mediator should not expect thanks or gratitude – may sound blunt. But the author explains that despite investing a lot of energy emotionally in the dispute the mediator may not get any thanks for the hard work, because the parties have short memories. The fact that the case has been resolved should be the only encouragement the mediator needs, she cheers. “When it is over, it is over. Let it go. Even though the mediator should not expect thanks or gratitude, he can still thank the parties for their efforts.”

Handy reference.



Mary Greenwood, Mediator, Attorney and Author of
How To Negotiate LIke A Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, Winner of six book awards
Best How To Book, DIY Festival
Runner Up, New York Book Festival, E-Book and Self-Help Category
Finalist ForeWord Magazine Book of the Year Awards
Finalist, Best National Book Awards, Self-Help Category
Honorable Mention, London Book Festival
How To Mediate Like A Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Winner of five book awards
Best National Book AWard, Law Category
Best E-Book, New York Book Festival
Best How To Book, Beach Book Festival
Best E-Book, Indie Excellence Awards
Spirit AWard, South Florida Writers Association
Email: howtonegotiate@aol.com
www.marygreenwood.com