During the first 100 days of Trump's presidency, we have heard a lot about Trump's negotiation skills. As the author of How to Negotiate like a Pro, 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes, I decided to review my own rules in the age of Trump.
Mary's Rule 2: Look Forward not Back. The Past is Called the Past for a Reason.
Trump's Rule 2: Look Back not Forward. I like living in my past glory.
One party may revel in detailing everything that has happened (and I mean everything) so far and insist on documenting each episode or incident even if they took place awhile ago. A wife in a divorce may be so intent on documenting everything the husband has done wrong that the wife is not even thinking about the goals of the negotiation beyond blaming the wife.
Or a President may blame the past President for everything the previous President has done in the last eight years. Or the President may dwell on the size of the inauguration crowds, hold rallies during the Correspondents' dinner or focus on the 3 million more votes his opponent received in the general election. However, looking to the past is counterproductive and does not help the negotiations.
You have to figure out a way to get to the present and deal with the current issues that need to be resolved. Ask the party what they want to resolve the dispute today. If the other side can't let the past go, resolving any negotiation can be a problem.
Script
1. If we are going to resolve this, we need to look to the future not the past.
2. How exactly do you want to resolve this issue?
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